Daunting No More

The day started off daunting. My first Sunday back to church since the surgery. Clothing simply doesn't fit. I feel weird without my breast still. Awkward. I was teary eyed. Fitting that it was lightly raining at the same time I was trying to figure out what to wear. I went with black. My comfort color. I have always loved wearing black. 

Once at church, I felt comforted by my family sitting all together, the music and the wonderful messages about Christ love. I was reminded that everyone goes to church to be comforted, loved and are accepted by God despite our imperfections. It was a blessing to be back and to have a nice lunch with members of our ward/congregation.

Now, what happened after church when we got home...

All I wanted to do was take a few photos.

Finally!!! A good one of me. 

Reminder

Today has been a wonderful day. I got a beautiful reminder. 

Heavenly Father loves me. Want to know how I know this? Of course, you do. It’s in the actions of my friends and family. It’s the recliner that I sit each day that feels like a warm hug from my brother and sisters because they bought for me. It’s the phone call on Saturday evening from my childhood bestie. It lifted my spirits. Its the daily messages from another dear friend. It's the support from friends who have walked in my shoes. Along with the wonderful visit this evening with new friends from church who dropped by with cookies. They just wanted to make sure I was doing alright. Then there are all the messages that I get on Facebook encouraging me to fight through the depression that having cancer bring. It’s the rain washing away the rough yesterdays. 

This I know for sure Heavenly Father/God loves me. 

Sounds of a Good Day!

I awoke to the sound of rain. It was such a peaceful moment.  It caused me to feel hopeful. Right now, I need lots of hope. I started to quickly take note of my body. No pain. First time to wake up without pain. I didn’t dare move. I lay blissfully taking a moment to enjoy being pain-free while listening to the soft sounds of the rain. 

Today I enjoyed the sounds of my girls baking cupcakes that came with rules. Yep, rules. Becca proudly made a list which included stuff like Brad must spend time with mom. Chris and mom will help me finish my FASFA. There was something for everyone. I loved it. Brad did spend time with me simply hanging out. We watched the movie R.M. Chris and I helped her finish up the FASFA stuff. The cupcakes were very yummy. I might have eaten 2 of them. 

Chris and I had fun too today watching the movie Singles Ward. Something I hadn’t seen in quite some time.  That movie makes me laugh. Laughing right now is hard to do because it hurts. If anyone knows Chris and I we love laughing together. The kids tell us all the time that we laugh so loud that it fills the whole house. They can hear us in the evening when all have retired to our rooms laughing. I forgot how good it feels to laugh. It feels healing. I am so glad we had some time to just relax together and laugh. For a few moments, I forgot that I had cancer. 

Such a good day! 

Home Early

Tired plagued my body. My hips were sore from so much sitting in the car and attending a meeting at the church last night. I was very uncomfortable. Quietly I got ready for church. I counted on the fact that the children could get themselves ready quickly. I knew pretty quickly that I wouldn't stay for all of church. I was given a very special blessing before going home from a new dear friend. It confirmed the inspiration given the day before at the temple was real and needed to be worked on. I cried and came home.

Once home I changed. Then laid down after eating. Quickly I was sick like Friday. It was in that moment that I was grateful to be home resting.